Couch Time

posted in: Marriage, Routine 0

How Something So Simple Can Affect Your Child So Profoundly

Parenting hacks. Do you know of any? We wish that there was an easy, quick fix to so many of the struggles of parenthood. Parenting is a lot of hard work!  Fortunately, there are a few things that, when done consistently, can yield fruit in the lives of your children that will literally blow your mind. One of these things is called Couch Time.  Couch time is 10-15 minutes set aside each day when you and your spouse sit together, uninterrupted, in front of the kids, and talk, touch, and laugh together. The purpose of couch time is to concretely demonstrate to your children the priority you place on your marriage relationship.

Here are 5 areas that will be greatly impacted in your home if you implement this simple, yet so important, parenting tool.

  1. Your Marriage

Making an intentional effort each day to make your marriage a priority will greatly benefit your relationship with your spouse. Take the time to put down your phones and look each other in the eye, put your arms around each other or hold hands, and remember that you are important to each other. As a mom who’s constantly meeting demands of my family every day, I start to feel unnoticed or unappreciated.  It means the world to me for my husband to take some time to talk with me as an adult and an individual, to make me a priority in front of the kids. And dads need to take the initiative of making sure the kids aren’t interrupting. It affects kids in a special way for them to see that Daddy makes Mommy a priority and his authority in this area brings security to the children.

  1. Your Kids’ Security

What goes through a child’s mind when you “push them away” for Couch Time? Probably not what you think. You may see disappointment, pouting, and sadness at first, but take a closer look after you’ve been sitting together for 10 minutes.  You’ll likely see that your kids are watching you between playing with toys or coloring. Their faces will be relaxed and their eyes will have a little gleam. That’s because in their little worlds, Mommy and Daddy are putting the glue on all the cracks of doubt in their minds about whether they love each other. Everything is okay in their world now and their confidence in their family skyrockets.

  1. Your Kids’ Physical Well-Being

Did you know couch time can even affect a 6-month-old? I was having a hard time getting my 6-month-old son to sleep through the night or through any of his naps. I was on the phone with my Mom one day and told her about it. Then my Dad asked from the background how Couch Time was going. I realized that we hadn’t made it a priority lately and immediately set out to fix that. Within a few days, my son’s sleep issues were solved and his little baby eyes were all lit up when my husband and I were showing each other affection in front of him.

Couch Time can help your kids sleep better which improves their overall quality of life and their learning capabilities. When you, as parents, eliminate the worry from your child’s mind about how Mom and Dad are doing, you’re boosting your child’s ability to thrive as an individual.

  1. Your Kids’ Emotional Health

Please don’t rob your children of seeing the love you have for one another. What an amazing gift you have the power to give! If yelling and fighting in front of a child can do immense emotional damage (and it does!) think what the opposite can do. Demonstrating a loving marriage relationship can give your children emotional stability in who they are and where they fit in your family. If your kids aren’t seeing a tangible example of your love relationship, their family identity will begin to crumble and they will look elsewhere for their sense of belonging.

  1. Your Kids’ Spiritual Life

Did you know that your marriage is the first example your kids will see of God’s love? By God’s design, your marriage is meant to be the most beautiful, earthly parallel to Christ’s love for His Bride, the church. Your kids, without realizing it, will begin to form their opinions of God by watching the two of you. My parents were the best at Couch Time. They never fought in front of us kids but instead were always showing affection. My dad was always reminding us that he loved my mom the most. I can say that that alone gave me so much confidence in my Savior, because they showed His love to me in such a tangible way that I have never struggled with fears of abandonment or questioned the reality of His Love. All because of a little thing called Couch Time.

So while there might not be many parenting hacks, Couch Time is an easy way to profoundly impact the life of your children.  When will you have Couch Time today?

Stacy Bullock is a wife and stay-at-home mother of three kids. Married to her high school sweetheart, Joshua, she couldn’t imagine a more fulfilling life. She enjoys playing the cello, horseback riding, and helping other mothers find fulfillment in making their quiver a happy and heavenly home to sharpen and ready their arrows (children) to be launched into the world to glorify God in following His calling on their lives.
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