If you are sold on the idea, but feel that the negative aspects of starting and persevering are prohibitive, read on. Any important discipline takes time and patience to cultivate. Here’s what I have discovered about the practicalities of long-term family reading:
I always choose a book that I can look forward to reading everyday. If I’m not enjoying the book, I don’t read it aloud. My passion for a book must carry the family reading experience. Where there is no vision – family reading perishes.
It helps to be accountable. For many years we did family reading in preparation for a reading co-op. Once a month we met with other families who had read the same book. It was called “Book Lovers Club.” The host family named the book of the month and planned an event that celebrated that book. It included fun activities – a food to make and taste, a craft to do, and a game to play based on the plot and characters of the book. We earnestly tried to finish the book in time to attend co-op, which was often better than a birthday party!
It is best to cater to the oldest children and let the younger children glean what they can comprehend – and I have been amazed at what they catch by just being in the room! But what they don’t understand now, they will understand better the next time the book is read. For instance, we have read the entire set of The Chronicles of Narnia three times over in the last twenty years (maybe four). Each time the oldest children benefited most, but everyone loved the experience. When the plot or vocabulary is a stretch, I stop and fill in the details so everyone can enjoy the story. But by catering to the oldest children I certainly don’t mean that the younger children don’t get to read age appropriate books with Mommy! They do. But for this designated family reading time I generally read a book that will most interest the oldest children.
For many years I had babies or toddlers who couldn’t be expected to enjoy reading chapter books. I usually put them down for their afternoon nap, then gathered the family for reading. When the youngest children were past napping age, I let them roam in and out of the room a bit. Usually they gravitated back because they liked to be with everyone else. For some little children reading time became cuddle time. But for everyone else – I found that most listened better when their hands were busy. Quiet activities that enhanced family reading and still do include: drawing, puzzles, building materials, clay, coloring, computer graphics, knitting, etc. There have been days when I dumped Duplos in the middle of the floor. Other times I read in the kitchen while children stirred up brownies, muffins or cookies (which we ate right after family reading. Yum!). I have even purchased quiet toys that were only used during family reading to keep them special. If children were still struggling, I shortened reading time, then lengthened it gradually over the next weeks and months.
A designated time and place are essential to maintaining the habit of reading aloud. I try to choose a time when most of the family will be together. It also helps to pick a time when one part of the daily routine is ending and another is about to begin. The middle of the day works best for us with our schedule.. We usually read just after lunch is cleaned up and just before afternoon school begins, but there are many others times that would work: during an after-school snack, just after dinner (before everyone leaves the table) or just before bedtime.
When we have friends visiting they join us for family reading. We give a short overview to catch the newcomer up on the plot and then dive in. In some of these cases I have invited a neighborhood friend inside until we came to a stopping place for the day.
It is best not to wait for everyone to be at home to read because it hurts the habit. My husband, Richard, is almost never able to read with us and that is O.K. Once in while he will read a book aloud in the evening, But his is rare treat. Our older children tend to get busy in the mid to late teens and are just not home. I have found myself missing them and wanting to withhold reading until they can be with us. The trouble is that we could be waiting for months! It is better to read on and let them listen in when they can.
We often listen to a book on CD on family trips.
Reading time must certainly remain flexible. The important point is to consistently prioritize reading.
Finally, it’s never too late to begin (or start over). Even empty nesters can benefit from reading aloud together as a couple, and then add grandchildren to the practice as they join the family.
Check back next week for Part 3 of this 3-Part Series.
One of the most worthwhile activities of my parenting years has been and continues to be reading aloud to my children. Since our family homeschools, just after lunch on most school days, we gather, take up our book where we left off, and enjoy the perspective of an author/mentor. It has now been over twenty years since we established this family habit. Since that time we have spent several thousand hours reading hundreds of books. Here are a few of the many reasons to make family reading a priority:
Hearing new words read aloud strengthens vocabulary. In fact, Andrew Pudewa, author of Institute for Excellence in Writing, names reading aloud as the most impactful way to build vocabulary and writing skills.
Good authors introduce valuable concepts to my children – with very little effort on my part. I’m given the opportunity to expound on their wise insights, many of which I wouldn’t have thought to discuss with my children. We can proactively discuss these topics in the quiet, receptive environment of our own family room, emphasizing a biblical perspective and worldview (or lack thereof). Family reading gives me an appointed time to teach in an atmosphere of non-conflict. How grateful I am!
We all meet God in fresh compelling ways, which fosters personal faith. We all gain wisdom – especially me. And it is free wisdom, meaning we can apply what someone else has learned over many years, through various trials without the difficulty and pain they experienced. Learning in this way is not as impactful as experiencing God in our own circumstances, but is still valuable.
I can apply ideas and events from books in subsequent conversations with my children. Reading aloud builds foundations for deeper discussions in other seasons.
Reading aloud has cumulative benefits: it creates sweet memories, builds family identity, and bequeaths rich legacy.
If these are not enough, my children and I have the privilege of enjoying a quiet half hour or so in the middle of the day, all together. It is like a mini-Sabbath. It’s our daily oasis. Reading aloud brightens the atmosphere of our home.
Be sure to check back next week for Part 2 of this 3-Part Series.
As we settle into a New Year, like many of us, you probably have pondered the idea of setting some goals with all the best intentions of following through “this time”.
Reflect on January a year ago. Maybe the plan was to simplify life or to be more consistent with your Bible reading, prayer, training the children, and exercising… the list can go on and on. Now a year later, has anything changed? Hopefully yes, yet unfortunately probably more a “ no.” And it’s the “no’s” that are discouraging. If it brings any comfort, we too have been there. Even to the point of rationalizing why the changes are not occurring, and even giving up. But maybe you’ve taken the opposite approach and promised yourself to try harder this year, yet are already experiencing the same results. Is there an answer to this dilemma, or are we doomed to repeat the same cycle year after year?
The very goals that are designed to motivate us end up derailing our thinking. This is where we need to “speak life” to ourselves. By focusing on what has not been done right or what could have been done better, we lose perspective of what has been accomplished and any changes that have occurred. Honest evaluation isn’t wrong, but recounting only the negatives doesn’t tell the whole story.
For example, how many of us have losing weight as one of our goals? If we lose even half of the intended amount, we have made progress in the right direction! How much better to focus on that aspect, instead of the weight still waiting to be lost! Losing some is better than gaining more!
Take a look at your list one more time, whether it’s one that is only in your mind or actually written down. Let’s consider the fact that the ‘list’ may need to become more realistic. Instead of trying to follow the advice the book gave or do what your neighbor does, what can you do?
Begin by evaluating the season of life you are in right now. If you are a mom with several littles under the age of seven, maybe getting the children and yourself dressed and fed, the laundry and dishes done, some basic housework, and a little scheduled one on one time with each child is enough for you right now. This may not be the season to join the gym and take on more activities. Of course, our moms with older children now find they have busier schedules to manage. Are you keeping family nights a priority? What about couch time? Those are achievable goals and this is part of the key. Once discovering and accepting the season of life you are in then do only those things that are productive for this current season. Certainly a farmer wouldn’t try to harvest his crops soon after he planted the seeds. Not only are there things that need to be done before harvesting, but time must pass.
So as we are moving into a New Year, rather than giving up, thinking “I can’t do it,” how about giving yourself some grace, knowing that for everything there is a season.
It seems once we enter the season of life called “parenting,” time passes so quickly! Possibly because there are so many milestones that occur in our children’s lives and we spend so much time and energy anticipating them. Each “big event” such as the first Christmas, or the next birthday or a big game or an important recital…. whatever it is, we are always anticipating and reaching for the next thing. Sometimes we can become so future-focused that we fail to enjoy the little snippets of time and joy the Lord provides and lose our focus on being content with today.
With that thought in mind, and Christmas drawing closer by the minute, how about slowing down to enjoy each day. Let’s not become so busy with the trimmings and preparations that the purpose of Christmas is lost in the shuffle. If there are little ones in the home, consider lowering your expectations of the “perfect holiday,” and concentrate on choosing one or two traditions you would like your children to remember. Here’s one mom’s story:
Our family was blessed to be able to live overseas for several years for my husband’s job.When we would come back to the States for the holidays, we would make the most of our airfare and stay from Thanksgiving until the New Year visiting different family members.This meant our own home remained unadorned for Christmas.After all, why decorate when we wouldn’t be there to enjoy it?I fretted, wondering what kind of mom I was to skip decorating the Christmas tree or baking Christmas cookies…what tradition could I give to my children?
The Lord ever so gently gave my heart awareness that we did have a tradition – one that involved being with family no matter what it took.And it’s true!Whether we were with aunts and uncles in a hotel room or at a grandparent’s house, we were together. My children may not have the kind of traditions I had grown up with, but I did give them the gift of FAMILY.No matter what, No matter when, No matter where, we were TOGETHER! – we built relationships and made cherished memories.And a few years later, when we were able to hang our ornaments, they were all the more precious as the boys “discovered” them all over again.
So lay down your expectations of a “perfect” holiday. Choose the traditions you want to keep… whether it is those yummy sugar cookies, a special time to shop with Mom, or making that birthday cake for Jesus, keep it simple. It really will be okay. After all, you want your children to have pleasant memories of those special days, not one of a harried Mom who viewed the holidays as just one more thing to do and survive.
The ladies of the Christian Family Heritage Board trust that God will bless you and your families with a very special season in which to remember His love and guidance for you family.
If you are sold on the idea, but feel that the negative aspects of starting and persevering are prohibitive, read on. Any important discipline takes time and patience to cultivate. Here’s what I have discovered about the practicalities of long-term family reading:
