21 Sep 2017

Babywise Tips – Sleep Props – How to Identify and Avoid

by | posted in: Babies, Babywise, Infant Sleep, Sleep Training | 0

 

Sleep props are objects used to help a baby fall asleep or fall back to sleep if he wakes prematurely.  Since sleep is a natural function of the body, the primary sleep cue is sleepiness.  Sleep props interfere with the process by becoming the substitute sleep cue instead of sleepiness.  Now falling asleep on his own is out of Baby’s control because it requires a parent’s presence to offer the prop.

Some sleep props, such as a special blanket or a stuffed animal are harmless, while others can become addictive.  Here are a few sleep props to avoid:

  • Intentionally nursing your baby to sleep – The scenario is all too familiar. A mother nurses her baby to sleep.  Slowly raising herself from the chair, she eases toward the crib.  While holding her breath, she gently lowers the precious bundle and allows herself to smile.  Then, frozen in time, she anxiously awaits peace to settle over the crib before backing to the door.  She wonders what she will experience this time: freedom or failure?  Hoping to escape, the mother knows that if her baby fusses, she will feel obliged to begin the process all over again.  Is it “poor mother” or “poor baby”?  Is nursing appropriate for inducing sleep every time sleep is needed?  No!  With the PDF plan, babies will establish healthy sleep patterns.  When Baby is placed in the crib, he is usually awake.  No tiptoeing, breath-holding, or absolute quiet is required.  He may cry for a few minutes or talk to himself, but he will fall asleep without intervention from Mom or Dad.
  • Motion and vibration sleep props – Modern mechanical sleep props rely on specific stimulation to lull a baby to sleep, either when the baby is first showing signs of tiredness or after the baby wakes prematurely. The most common motion sleep prop is the rocking chair.  The question here is not whether you should rock or cuddle your baby.  We hope that happens often!  But are you using rocking or a variety of dancing motions as sleep props?  Other similar props include the vibrating crib mattress and the baby swing.  Some parents have tried the unsafe practice of placing their baby on top of a vibrating clothes dryer.  Of course, when all else fails, there is also the nightly drive with baby in the car seat.  The sound of the motor and the vibrating chassis of the car sends Baby to dreamland, sometimes.  These sleep props work to some extent, but only until the dryer runs out of time, the car runs out of gas, or Mom and Dad run out of patience!  In the short and long run, putting Baby to bed while he is drowsy but still awake facilitates longer and stronger sleep cycles than if placed in the crib already asleep.
  • Sleeping with your baby – Using any of the sleep props just noted may not be the best way to help a child fall asleep and stay asleep, but none of them put a baby at risk. There is, however, one sleep arrangement that has proven very dangerous: sleeping in the same bed with an infant.  Some theorists will tell you bed-sharing with an infant is the ultimate bonding, attachment, and nighttime breastfeeding experience.  It is also deadly!  What do we know about co-sleeping with an infant?  Since 1997, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, and the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission have put out medical alerts warning parents of the death risk associated with sleeping next to an infant.  The seven year study tracked the deaths of over 500 infants due to parents lying next to their babies in such a way that they were partially or totally covering them.  Do not be misled by the number; it is a small fraction of actual parental overlay cases occurring each year in the U. S.   This is why co-sleeping with infants may be the ultimate risk decision of our day.  Safe and sensible sleeping arrangements start with baby out of Mom and Dad’s bed.

The best and safest way to help your little one fall asleep and stay asleep is the natural way.  You do not need costly gadgets, a new car, or risky parenting theories.  Instead of a sleep prop, confidently establish a basic routine to promote restful sleep.  Feed your baby, rock and love him, but put him down in his own crib before he falls asleep.

 

Excerpt taken from On Becoming Babywise by pediatrician Robert Bucknam, M.D. and Gary Ezzo, M.A. (2017 – 6th Edition)

18 Sep 2017

The Real Deal

by | posted in: Marriage, Moral Training, Speak Life | 2

Rich and I have been on this parenting journey for nine years.  We’ve learned a lot from many people who have gone before us.  We’ve stayed up nights tending to sick kids and prayed many prayers for our children’s hearts.  We’ve persevered through stubborn wills that didn’t want to submit to parental authority and taken a hard look at our own sin through the looking-glass of our children.  We’ve seen a lot in a short time and discovered pretty quickly that being a parent is not for the faint of heart.

 

Now, don’t get me wrong.  Parenting is also one of the most fantastic, rewarding, and beautiful adventures we’ll ever have the privilege of experiencing.  Looking into the eyes of each newborn child.  First smiles, first steps, first birthdays.  From baby talk to piano recitals.  Belly giggles to family vacations.  The blessings God has given us through our parenting journey are too numerous to count.

 

One of the most valuable things we’ve acquired through it all is the gift of like-minded friends to walk alongside us – in the trenches – sharing successes and failures.  The other day I sent a message to my close friends about how my 3-year-old had just helped herself to macaroni and cheese, petrifying it beyond recognition in the microwave while I was upstairs cleaning bathrooms.  My hashtags read: #outsidethefunnel #toomanyfreedoms.  Even though I was embarrassed and convicted at my lack of attention, it felt so good to reach out to some friends who would understand.

 

The point is, we NEED community.  God has created us to enter into relationships with other human beings on every level – at school, at work, at church, in marriage, in family – the list goes on.  He did that because He knows it’s the best way for us to get through life.  When we don’t recognize God’s design for relationships, we can get overly involved at looking at what seems like neat, clean, perfect lives on Facebook or Instagram.

 

Instead, I would encourage you to find some REAL people.  People who are doing some things right and some things wrong.  People who can lift you up and help you see your weaknesses.  People who know you and stay anyway.

 

We’ve been blessed to be a part of parenting classes where we formed these kinds of friendships.  Now we’re creating platforms for other families to find those same relationships to celebrate the victories and throw each other a line on the hard days.

 

Don’t get stuck trying to find fulfillment in the glossy exterior of social media.  Find the real deal in real people in real life.

 

Julie Bame is wife to Rich, mom to three beautiful girls, a Contact Mom for Christian Family Heritage, and Worship Coordinator at North Clinton Church.  Rich and Julie are passionate to see the Kingdom come in all of life, but especially so in marriages and families.  They count it a great privilege to walk the journey of parenting with anyone who will join them.
11 Sep 2017

Baby Waking Early? Consider the 4 H’s!

by | posted in: Babies, Babywise, Crying, Sleep Training | 0

 

Your baby cries out in the middle of the night or in the middle of a nap and instantly your mind fills with questions:  Why is she awake?  Is something wrong?  What should I do?  In moments like these, I like to find the solution by considering the 4 H’s.

  • Hunger – The first thing you always want to consider is, “Is my baby hungry?” Did your last feeding go poorly?  Did she fall asleep and not get a full feeding?  Did she spit up everything she ate?  Is she going through a growth spurt?  Is she walking now and burning more calories?  When in doubt, feed your baby.  If she takes more than a light snack, then the chances are that your baby was hungry and that is why she woke early.  Now you know to increase the amount you are feeding her and/or supplement her feedings.
  • Hurt – If baby wakes from a sound sleep with a piercing cry, she may be hurt. Is her leg caught in a slat in the crib?  Has she wiggled her way into a corner or is her head pressing up against the crib?  Does she have a hair wrapped around her fingers or toes?  Does she have a new tooth coming in? Check baby over thoroughly to make sure she isn’t waking early because she is in pain.  We could also add an additional “H” here – Heat.  Baby may wake early either because she is too warm or too cold.  Check the room temperature and adjust baby’s clothing layers to make sure she is comfortable.
  • Health – Baby may wake early because of a health-related issue. Ear infections can make it painful for baby to lie down flat.  A cold may cause congestion making it difficult for baby to breathe and will cause her to wake early.  A fever can be the cause of early waking as well.  If baby suddenly starts waking early, consider that there may be an illness present.  Take her to the doctor to make sure she is healthy.
  • Habit – If you ruled out hunger, hurt, and health issues, baby’s early waking may be caused by poor sleep habits. Check your routine – are you keeping your newborn awake for too long or is she overstimulated?  Are you still following the feed, wake, sleep cycle order or has baby been falling asleep during feedings so that her wake time is out of order?  Have you been rocking baby to sleep or developing another sleep prop so that baby can’t settle down to sleep or stay asleep without your intervention?  Have you consistently gotten her up from her naps after only 45 minutes so she’s never learned to sleep longer than that?

When baby wakes early from her sleep, don’t panic.  Just work through the 4 H’s to find the solution.  If you want more information on this topic or other parenting questions, click on the Contact Us tab and we’ll put you in touch with a seasoned mom who can help you.

 

Luona Nightingale is an experienced Contact Mom for Christian Family Heritage. She loves to help other moms by answering their questions and helping them implement the principles from Babywise and other Growing Families curricula.  She and her husband Luke reside in upstate New York and are celebrating their silver anniversary this year.  They are the parents of four adult daughters.
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