14 Dec 2015

A Lost Perspective

by | posted in: Dads, Holidays, Mom | 1

lost perspective

 

Stepping back forty years, Christian communities welcomed the holiday charm and “make-believe” role that Santa Claus played in the imagination of children. Children loved the mystical notion attached to the jolly-old-man in red the suit. Where does he come from, how does he know the names of all the children in the world? How does he carry all those toys in his sleigh? For the parents of that age, Santa was but an accent mark on Christmas, representing all that was good about the season: unconditional love, sacrificial gift giving, and the ability to stir the imagination, with his limitless charity and mobility.

Today however, we live in a society publicly opposed to the display and truth belonging to Christmas. As a result, many of the treasured icons of the holiday season have also become suspect or have lost their value all together. That is where things stand right now. Today the question is often asked, “Where does Santa fit in the Christmas story?”

As we move closer to the holiday season the legitimacy and or necessity of Santa Claus will again stir conversations within the Christian community. Two concerns are usually at the heart of these exchanges. The first is the charge that parents who propagate the fantasy of Santa Claus cause their children to think of Jesus as a fantasy. And we would agree that is a possibility, but only for those parents who make Jesus a topic of interest twice a year – Easter and Christmas. It seems apparent that the true meaning of Christmas is rarely lost on children who know the reality of Jesus throughout the year. These children have little difficulty separating the reality of the season from the fantasy of any holiday character, whether it be Santa Claus or the Muppets of Sesame Street.

The second concern has to do with the propriety of supporting a make-believe character. Can it be done without compromising truth? Are you lying to your children when telling them something is true, when it is only make believe? As it relates to Santa Claus, parents must decide what truth is being propagated and what untruth must be guarded against. The truth is, Santa Claus represents the “spirit” of Christmas–gift giving and unconditional love. Keeping that truth in front of children aides, not hinders, the real meaning of Christmas: i.e. God’s gift to mankind, and a Savior is born (Luke 2:11). To propagate the person of Santa Claus without the message his character represents is where parents get themselves into trouble.

We believe it is important to preserve the innocence of a child’s “good” imagination and the fun fantasies that support it. However, parents must do so without compromising any specific truth. Here are some responses to consider when your child asks you about the reality of Santa.

First, make sure your children know the story of the real Saint Nicholas, the fifth century Church Bishop known for his generosity, especially among the poor. Children should know that the Christmas tradition of Santa Claus is based on the life of Saint Nicholas. And although Santa Claus may not be a real person, the spirit of love and generosity drawn from the life of Saint Nicholas is real, and that is what Santa Claus represents. Staying focused on that truth is what allows parents to give their children the joy of those “pretend” moments when Santa Claus comes to their house.

Second, parents, when faced with the “Santa Claus existence” question, might also consider asking a few questions, while always being sensitive to the child’s response. For example, a parent might ask, “Do you think reindeer really know how to fly?” “Do you believe Santa can fit through our chimney?” And if you don’t have a chimney, you can ask, “How do you suppose Santa gets in our house?” Of course parents can also ask direct questions such as: “Do you think Santa brings toys to you or do you think Mommy and Daddy are the ones who put gifts under the tree?” By answering a child’s question with a question, a parent can lead the child to the right answer in a way that will not crush his or her playful imagination.

When our children were growing up, Santa Claus was part of the Christmas season. However, he was just one of many gift-givers within the household. Some of the others included Mittens the cat, Pooch the dog, our pig Wilbur, and Henrietta the hen and her four sisters. Although our children understood that all the gifts under the tree could be traced back to Mommy and Daddy, the spirit of Santa Claus found its way into their hearts. Our children understood that truth and because of it, they had a good time with all the “make believe” characters that came with the season.

What parents decide to tell their children about Santa Claus is up to them, but whatever they decide, the first message of the season is that: “Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests” (Luke 2:11-14).

 

7 Dec 2015

Joyous Holidays

by | posted in: Dads, Holidays, Mom, Uncategorized | 0

 joyous holidays

Have you ever noticed how the holiday season seems to come around just a little bit sooner than the year before?  While it is a time for family and friends, a time to continue tradition plus make new memories, a time for laughter, and a time to sit by the fire with a good book, it is also time to work, work and work!  So often the holiday season is exactly that – a lot of work.  As a result, somewhere along the way in all the preparation for the season, we lose our desired perspective (making the holiday joyous).  The following suggestions may help each of us to keep that “joyous” outlook throughout the holidays.

 

 

J  Jesus – Continue daily time in God’s Word and  prayer.  Everyone’s day (despite trials that will come) will go better when it is committed to our Heavenly Father.

O  Organize – Organize your time.  Decide what you want to do this holiday season and begin formulating a plan to accomplish it.  Be realistic, especially moms with young children.

Y  Yield Fruit – This is the season of love, joy, peace.  Pray for God’s strength in exhibiting the Fruit of the Spirit.

O  Omit – This is part of organizing and being realistic.  No matter where you are in your planning for the holidays, see what can be omitted from the schedule or your “grand plan” for this season.

U  Unselfish – It is hard to think that we can become selfish during the season designed for sharing and giving, yet it is possible.  Pray for an attitude that remembers the preciousness of others and not thinking more highly of yourself than you ought.

S  Simplify – What can be done ahead of time?  We often make things more complicated than necessary.  Remember, we don’t have to duplicate every beautiful idea from Pinterest.

 

 

 

H  Hugs – Who couldn’t use one?  A hug costs nothing but gives much.  It enriches those who receive it without making poorer those who give.  It is blessed to give and receive a hug!

O  Others – Sometimes we become so busy in doing for the “sake of others” that we forget to minister to them.

L  Listen – Listen to your children.  It is often easier to “just do it myself”. But children often have some good, simple ideas, so remember to listen to them.  After all, this is a time of year that they look forward to and want to contribute to in some way or another.  Maybe this will be the year to give up the perfect looking Christmas tree and let the children decorate it —— yes, even with paper chains!

I  Instruction – With the busyness of the season, it is easy to allow the instruction of our children to be placed on the back burner.  Those “precious gifts” are still in need of training and consistency, even during this busy time of year.

D  Diligence – Teach our children the importance of diligence with all the fun preparation that needs to be done, so everyone can enjoy the holidays.

A  Amiable – Stress is high.  Make it a goal to be that friendly face out in the crowded shopping centers by offering a smile and a word of encouragement.

Y  Years – These are years to be cherished.  Avoid robing both yourself and the children of the preciousness of this time by becoming overwhelmed with insignificant matters.

S  Slow Down – We live in a fast-paced society.  It is time to slow down, take a deep breath, and enjoy the holiday season.

 

From the Board of Christian Family Heritage… we wish you a Blessed and Merry Christmas!

19 Nov 2015

Home for the Holidays

by | posted in: Mom | 0

Thanksgiving blog

 

It seems that once we see that date on our calendar stating “First Day of Fall,” our thoughts fly ahead to the holidays… which then seems to engender all kinds of emotions, ranging from nostalgic to absolute dread.  To help sort the potential conflicting thoughts that can be involved as we move closer to Thanksgiving and Christmas, let’s take a look at the word hospitality.  Beginning with what God has given us in His Word.  In 1 Peter 4:9 we read, “Be hospitable to one another without grumbling.”  Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 3:2, “A bishop then must be… hospitable…”  Since the latter Scripture does refer to him having a wife, it is fair to assume she also is to demonstrate that quality.  Hospitality is one of those special graces God gives and it literally means to love, to do, or to do with pleasure.

In a classic Noah Webster’s 1828 dictionary, hospitality is defined as: “the act or practice of receiving and entertaining strangers or guests without reward.  Disposed to treat guests with generous kindness.”

So why is it that many women today seem to have an aversion to hospitality?  Some may come from an incorrect view of what hospitality is supposed to be.  We spend time watching those wonderful TV programs about cooking and decorating and we enjoy reading wonderful books on being hospitable and encouraging us to open our homes… so what happened?  Perhaps we compare ourselves to these polished perspectives or even to friends who have that special gift of taking something of apparently little worth and turning it into a masterpiece.  As a result, we lose heart, and maybe give up on being hospitable altogether.  Unfortunately, is seems that the practice of hospitality has been replaced with the concept of perfection and then becomes an excuse as to why we cannot entertain.

So for those who think they are challenged in this area, does it really get us off the hook? A verse to consider is 2 Corinthians 10:5, which states: “taking every thought captive, making it obedient to Christ.”  So how does that apply to hospitality?  Well, what thoughts keep you from opening your home to others?  Shall we try…our home is too small, I’m not a good cook, I’m not an outgoing person, we’re not much for entertaining… and the list goes on.

Have you noticed how many negatives are in those phrases?  Now let’s take those thoughts captive.  We know we “can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us.”  We can follow the admonition in 1 Peter to “be hospitable to one another.”  And please note the “without grumbling!”   Nowhere in Scripture does it say to demonstrate hospitality only if you are a good cook, have a big house, are outgoing, or any other type of checklist.  Hospitality is about relationships not culinary skills.  It is a matter of opening our home not only to those whose company we enjoy and who we know will have us over in return, but in a truly Biblical sense, hospitality is opening our home to all with no thought of reciprocation or even gratitude.

Think of the awesome opportunity of demonstrating God’s unconditional love to those in or outside of your family, those who may not know Him and who may even ridicule your beliefs.  Remember our purpose and why we do what we do… it is not for our glory but for His.  Our lives are to reflect His love and make God bigger so others can see Him.  As you enjoy Thanksgiving and continue to prepare for Christmas, take time to focus on the chance for God to demonstrate His love though you as you kindly and generously show hospitality to all.

From the Board of Christian Family Heritage, we wish you and your family a Blessed Thanksgiving and a Glorious Christmas!

17 Nov 2015

Sibling Friendships that Last!

by | posted in: Dads, Mom | 0

SiblingRelationshipsLast

 

Want more family peace? Require sibling honor!

 

Start at birth teaching your children to refer to each other as “best friends.” We practiced that

along with implementing the following principles in our homes when our children were very

young. And now that they are reaching adulthood, they still prefer each other above all other

friendships. It’s never too late to make sibling friendship a priority.

 

Here are some family habits for making brothers and sisters best friends:

• Have zero tolerance for unkind speech in your home. And actions, attitudes and body

language are just like words. Bring any unkindness to the attention of your children

immediately. Have them repeat the action or words with a correct tone and attitude

before moving on with the day.

• Working on words and attitudes with the oldest children has a trickle down effect for

the rest. Call your older children to rise to the responsibility of mentoring the younger

ones. Younger siblings naturally reciprocate what they see and experience.

• Cover the topics of love languages, spiritual gifts and temperaments as a family.

Understanding differences helps siblings celebrate each other and forgive besetting sins.

• Require repentance, forgiveness and restoration. “I’m sorry” is bumped to the more

vulnerable “Will you forgive me for _______ ?”

• When two children are angry with one another, don’t prefer each other, or the

relationship has been weakened over time, plan to have them spend more time

together. Limit outside activities and influences until their hearts are right. Require them

to do something extra kind for one another and use kind words. Ask the older sibling to

be responsible to plan an event, help with school, or bake with the younger sibling so

they have extra opportunities to strengthen the relationship.

One thing that really helped our families was reading the book Making Brothers and Sisters Best

Friends, by Sarah and Harold Mally, out loud. We had our children make a “lapbook” about

laying down his or her rights, being willing to “lose in the good fight,” and other major themes

from the book. Later, we reread the book since the youngest children were too small to

understand it well the first time through. When two siblings are vying for the first or best we

ask, “Who would be willing to lay down his rights?” Having taught what this means in a time of

non-conflict, almost always someone graciously lays down what he deserves for the sake of a

brother of sister. It is considered a mark of honor.

Also, we frequently say, “You wouldn’t speak to so-and-so that way. Why would you treat your

sister/brother, who is your best friend that way?” Family peace in founded in strong sibling

relationships. It’s our prayer that our children will esteem and prefer one another all the days

of their lives.

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