8 Nov 2017

Babywise Tips – What’s the Difference Between a Fatigued Baby and a Tired Baby?

by | posted in: Babies, Babywise, Preparation for Parenting | 0

The symptoms of infant fatigue are different from those of a tired baby.  A tired baby can usually recoup needed sleep in one good nap or at least within a 24-hour cycle.  The fatigued baby, however, has a disruption in sleep cycles that requires special attention.  If parents try to keep their baby up and he skips his naps, the problem gets worse.  If they attempt to force sleep on the baby by not responding to cries born out of fatigue, Mom and Dad will quickly become emotional wrecks and Baby will still need help.  Fatigue is one of those mystery sleep challenges that must be dealt with carefully.  Too much is at stake to let this go without proper assessment.  Here are some facts to consider when it comes to dealing with infant fatigue.

Healthy sleep has two primary components that most parents are unwilling to give up: a baby who sleeps through his naps without waking and one who sleeps in his crib for those naps.  While both are important, one must be temporarily suspended for the greater good of the baby who is showing signs of fatigue.

Infant fatigue is similar to adult fatigue.  We all know what it feels like to be so tired that sleep eludes us.  Fatigue attacks our sleep rhythms.  With babies it prevents them from entering the ebb and flow of active and relaxed sleep cycles.  It may come from their routine being out of whack for several days, especially during the time of day when naps are the norm.  The priority is for Mom to find a non-stressful solution to re-establishing her baby’s circadian rhythm (his normal 24-hour cycle of waking and sleeping).

If you sense your baby needs this kind of adjustment, and you are now in a position to get him back into a predictable routine, we recommend that Mom find a comfortable chair and a good book and allow her baby to take a nap in her arms.  This might extend into the next day.  On the third day, however, naps return to the crib.  This works because the tension between the need and place for sleep is temporarily suspended while Baby gets restorative sleep in the most comfortable way possible.  You are not creating a sleep prop because this adjustment is only for a couple of days while you help your baby overcome his fatigue.

Prevention is the best medicine!  Try to think through how your perfect sleeper became a fatigued baby.  It did not just happen, and one day’s suspension of a baby’s routine does not create fatigue, although two to three days of continual disruption probably will.  Take a look at what is going on in your home and with Baby’s schedule, and make the appropriate adjustments.

 

Excerpt taken from On Becoming Babywise by pediatrician Robert Bucknam, M.D. and Gary Ezzo, M.A. (2017 6th Edition).

3 Nov 2017

Babywise Tips – What’s the Difference Between a Dream Feed and Late Night Feeding?

by | posted in: Babies, Babywise, Preparation for Parenting | 0

 

Mothers will commonly ask if there is a difference between the late-evening feed and the dream feed since they both fall around the same time at night.  Yes, there is a difference!  The late-evening feeding provides the necessary nutrition baby needs and is part of a baby’s routine up through the first three months.  The dream feed comes later in a baby’s life.  It is not offered because the baby needs the calories, but to help the breastfeeding mom maintain her milk supply.  Not all mothers need to offer a “dream feed,” but the probability increases as a mom’s age moves into her mid-30’s.

 

Excerpt taken from On Becoming Babywise by pediatrician Robert Bucknam, M.D. and Gary Ezzo, M.A. (2017 6th Edition).

27 Oct 2017

Where to go for Advice?

by | posted in: Dads, Marriage, Mom, Training | 0

Living in the age of technology and instant information has its perks. No one can pull one over on us in social gatherings anymore since we always have Google at our fingertips to check the facts. The downside, however, is that we can become addicted to the instant response. We begin to look for the quick fix in contexts that require more wisdom and discernment and not just fact-checking. In our search for the quick answer, we can miss the best one.

 

It has been my observation that this happens frequently in the arena of parenting advice. Clearly I have nothing against using the Internet for this purpose, since I am writing this blog article, but we need to remember that the Internet is just a tool which should be used with discernment. In today’s climate the Internet and more specifically, social media, often overshadows other time-tested resources. In Proverbs 15:22 we are told, “Without consultation, plans are frustrated, But with many counselors they succeed.” (NASB) The next time you need some wisdom in your parenting, consider the following tried and true “counselors” – even if you use the Internet to connect to them.

 

  • God’s Word – Maybe this one seems obvious, but I am amazed at how many times we fail to seek God’s wisdom in His Word first. In Hebrews 4:12 we are told that His Word “is living and active” and it is “able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” And 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says that, “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness…” That’s a pretty powerful parenting tool and yet, we are so quick to overlook it. Let me encourage you, if you are struggling in your role as a parent prayerfully go to the Word. If you use your favorite Bible app, it won’t take any longer than a Google search to find deep, rich, and abiding answers, better than any blog out there.

 

  • Your Spouse – When I ask a mom seeking my advice what her husband thinks about the issue at hand, well over half of the time she hasn’t thought to ask him. A dad is more likely to have sought his wife’s input than the other way around. Honestly, this is one of the reasons I thought to write on this topic. Ladies, please don’t overlook the wonderful resource you have in your husbands. Some of my best solutions have come from my husband. When I have been in the fray with the kids all day, he brings a fresh and more objective perspective. He can be amazingly creative and can cut through the clutter to get to the heart of the matter and bring God’s Word to bear on the situation at hand. Think about it, he is the only one who has the same vested interest in how your children turn out and he is the one whom the Lord has provided to walk through life with. Why would you not ask him?

 

  • Older Women – God’s Word tells us that “Wisdom is with the aged, and understanding in length of days.” Job 12:12 (ESV) As we walk with the Lord and gain life experience, we become practiced at living according to God’s wisdom and we have a perspective that only comes with time. As an older woman, I am instructed in Titus 2:3-5 to encourage younger women, teaching them what is good in their roles as wives and mothers. This has both practical and eternal purposes. The biggest problem with social media, for example posting questions on Facebook, is we are essentially asking everyone’s advice and as a result we get many opinions, based on a variety of philosophies that can often contradict one another. It seems we are looking for consensus more than wisdom; a quick fix over a reasoned response. Since most of our online friends would fall into the category of “peer” over “aged” we may be foregoing solutions that stand the test of time. To be clear, by “peer” I mean someone equal in knowledge and understanding. The “older” person may even be younger than you, just ahead in life experience and wisdom. My encouragement would be to seek the advice of women who have been where you are and have learned well from it, gaining insight consistent with Biblical principle. I don’t mean to say there is not a place for peers. We can often learn practical solutions to current problems from others who are where we are in life. My caution is this should not be our only or primary resource.

 

The Internet can be a valuable tool in connecting us with the resources we need to raise our children today. We need to use it judiciously to be sure it enhances rather than detracts from our efforts. As parents it is our responsibility to discern the truth in the many voices and opinions out there and choose those which are Biblical, well-considered, and wise.

 

 

Beth Ann Plumberg is a Contact Mom for Christian Family Heritage. She is wife to Chuck, mom to four grown boys and 3 daughters-in-love and grandma to 3 precious babies. Chuck and Beth Ann are active in their local church discipling young parents and leading classes.

 

20 Oct 2017

Help Your Baby Adjust to the Time Change

by | posted in: Babies, Babywise, Routine, Sleep Training | 0

 

Just when we think we’ve got a good routine going with our little ones, the calendar shows the end of Daylight Saving Time is quickly approaching.  This year we’ll “fall back” an hour on Sunday, November 5th.  You may be concerned that when the time changes, your child’s bedtime at 7 p.m. will become 6 p.m. and consequently he will wake up at 6 a.m. instead of 7 a.m.  Or even worse, if he normally has an early wake up time, what if he wakes up at 5 a.m. because his body says it 6 a.m.!?!

Here are a few factors to consider when thinking through the impact the time change will have on your family:

  • Temperament: both yours as a parent and your baby/child’s.
  • Parent: are you easy-going or a bit more concerned about “doing it all right”, especially in the area of sleep?
  • Baby: has he been a great sleeper from the get-go or more of a challenge in the area of sleep patterns and length of sleep?
  • Knowing yourself and your baby/child helps you prepare for the change, especially if this is your first time dealing with the time change issue.
  • Since this happens twice a year, spring (when we move the clocks ahead an hour) and fall (when we move the clocks back an hour), keep expectations realistic in approaching the change.

 

With the fall equinox already passed, you are probably noticing dwindling daylight hours and your little one may already appear to be ready for bed earlier than he did during the brighter summer evenings.  You can take advantage of that! The following suggestions will depend on your existing routine and his nap/sleep schedule.

  • If your little one is 3 months old or younger and still has either a dream feed or one feeding during the night, you likely won’t need to do anything about the time change. Just let the natural rhythm run its course.
  • If your little one has achieved the skill of sleeping through the night, you might want to adjust his naps by 15-30 minutes during the day (being mindful of cues of fatigue and sleepiness) so that you end up with his regularly scheduled bedtime.
  • A week prior to the time change, you can gradually move his bedtime later by 10-15 minute increments every couple of days so that when the time change does occur, there is only a 30-minute difference between his current bedtime and the new adjusted bedtime after the change.
  • If you decide to make no prior modifications, a little one who has been on a good routine, as a general rule, will usually only take a day or two to adjust and will then go right back to his regular sleeping pattern.

 

Probably the bigger concern for ‘falling back’ is that the mornings become lighter earlier.  Depending on which direction your child’s room faces in the morning, you may want to make sure the room remains darker, so his body doesn’t kick into gear at 5:30 a.m. thinking it’s 6:30 a.m.  And even if he does wake then, there is no need to rush in and pick him up. Try giving him 15-30 minutes to see if he’ll fall back to sleep or at least play quietly in his crib.

 

The bottom line is, if your little one has been on a good routine, the change in time, whether you are “falling back” or “springing ahead”, should not cause a major disruption in sleep patterns. You’ve already learned to recognize your baby’s sleep cues and know his or her sleep disposition, so use that to your advantage. Make the necessary adjustments at nap time and be confident that a 30-, or even a 45-minute difference with bedtime is not going to throw off the whole routine indefinitely. The biggest, dare I call it a mistake parents make, especially with the fall change, is thinking; “oh we can stay up an hour longer because we get an extra hour in the morning!”   A better thought is; “oh, we get an extra hour of sleep”.

 

Anne Marie Ezzo serves with her husband in ministering to families around the world through Growing Families International. For the past 30+ years her passion has been, and continues to be, to encourage wives and moms to practically understand what it means to “love your husband and children”. 

 

 

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