4 Dec 2017

Sleep Challenges … Related to Mom

by | posted in: Babies, Babywise, Sleep Training | 0

 

In part two of our series, we’ll look at some potential mother related contributors to Baby waking early.

  1. Baby is hungry because:
    1. The previous feeding proved to be inadequate
    2. Mom’s milk supply has gradually decreased – When it comes to a drop in Mom’s milk supply, the decrease is usually gradual, and correspondingly her baby gradually shifts nap duration.  Baby might start waking just 15 to 30 minutes early, and then 30 to 45 minutes, or 60 minutes early.  Most moms can add a feeding or two and increase their milk supply.  However, there is a very small percentage of breastfeeding moms who are not able to sustain their milk supply during the day, even after trying every reasonable lactation suggestion offered.  If a mom determines she is not able to provide her baby adequate nutrition through exclusive breastfeeding, then she has two choices.  Continue to nurse and supplement with formula, or completely switch over to formula.
  2. Mom’s diet is affecting the nursing baby
  3. Baby has a reaction to a new medication Mom is taking – Most medications prescribed to breastfeeding mothers are safe for the nursing infant. However, there are certain medications that can potentially become a source of discomfort, thereby impacting a baby’s sleep.  If Mom suspects a link between her medication and her baby’s irritability, there are several factors to consider.  First, a mother should not assume that a medication safely taken during pregnancy will always be safe for a nursing baby.  Second, Mom should check the prescription dosage with her doctor.  Is it possible to reduce the dosage or substitute another drug that has less side effects for the baby?  Third, what time of day is Mom taking her medication?  Is it possible to take it right after baby’s last feeding of the night, so her body can metabolize most of the medication during her nighttime sleep, which hopefully will be 8 to 10 hours before her baby’s next meal?  In the end, Mom must weigh the benefits of taking her medication in light of the possibility that the medication is having a negative impact on her baby.
  4. The nursing baby is getting too much lactose from Mom – Most breastfeeding concerns are associated with mothers who are not producing enough breastmilk. However, in rare cases, some mothers produce too much milk, which sets in motion a ripple effect that shows up at naptime.  When a mother’s milk-producing glands are making and storing more milk than her baby needs, then correspondingly, the foremilk/hindmilk volumes change.  While the foremilk/hindmilk nutrient ratios remain the same, the total quantities in each breast are higher.  When there is more foremilk available to a hungry baby, there is more lactose (milk sugar) ingested and that is when the problem starts.  Healthy babies do not have a problem with processing normal levels of lactose, but ingesting a large volume will overpower their digestive tracks because they do not have enough lactase (digestive enzyme) to break down all the lactose.  Excessive lactose causes significant discomfort from gas build-up.  Green watery stools are a common symptom of this condition.  Possible solution?  Pumping some milk from both breasts just prior to feeding might help remedy the problem.  That will remove some of the foremilk so when Baby feeds, he will receive a closer to normal foremilk/hindmilk ratio.  Unfortunately, trial and error is the only way to discover the right amount to pump.
  5. Mom’s schedule was rushed, so she did not allow enough time for her baby to receive a full feeding.

Excerpt taken from On Becoming Babywise by pediatrician Robert Bucknam, M.D. and Gary Ezzo, M.A.  (2017 6th Edition).

23 Nov 2017

The Real Secret to Cultivating a Thankful Heart

by | posted in: Moral Training, Speak Life | 0

 

Everywhere you look this time of year, there are messages about gratitude and how to cultivate a deeper sense of happiness or contentment in life.  And while all of those things are okay, I wonder if the real issue is something more basic.  Something that has gotten buried deep underneath layers of the shallow offerings of this world.  Something of a hidden message in the example that Jesus gave us. 

Scripture boils everything down to just two precepts: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-38). 

Did you hear that?  The greatest commandments talk about God and others.  That’s it.  There’s no reminder to love ourselves.  In fact, it tells us we love ourselves SO well that we are to lavish that same love on our neighbors. 

On our parenting journey, we learned a phrase that has become central to our family’s vision.  It’s called “the preciousness of others” or “other-centeredness”.  It really comes from the idea in 1 Corinthians 13:5 where it says, “Love is not rude”.  In Parenting from the Tree of Life, the Ezzos illustrate this principle in specific areas (please refer to the series for a much more in-depth teaching). 

We should model and teach our children to have respect for:

  • Authority
  • Parents
  • Elders
  • Peers and Siblings
  • Property of others
  • Nature

What is the practical outpouring of this?  What is the real secret to cultivating a thankful heart?  There are many ways to do that, but before you start down a bullet-point list, start here: Don’t look inward, look outward.  Don’t think of your own blessings, but think of ways to bless someone else.  Jesus even told us not to worry about what we would eat or drink or what we would wear.  But seek His Kingdom and righteousness FIRST and all those things would be given to us as well. (Matt. 6:33)

The next time you or someone in your family is feeling less than thankful, ask the question, “Who are you thinking of?”  If the answer is not “others” then ask God to redirect the heart to Him, the author and reason for our gratitude.  Ask Him to reveal ways to “love your neighbor as yourself”.  Get back to the basics of focusing your heart and mind on the needs of others and a bad attitude will quickly become gratitude. 

 

Julie Bame is wife to Rich, mom to three beautiful girls, a Contact Mom for Christian Family Heritage, and Worship Coordinator at North Clinton Church.  Rich and Julie are passionate to see the Kingdom come in all of life, but especially so in marriages and families.  They count it a great privilege to walk the journey of parenting with anyone who will join them.

 

20 Nov 2017

Sleep Challenges … Related to Baby

by | posted in: Babies, Babywise, Sleep Training | 0

Nap disturbances can be triggered from a variety of sources. The problem might be baby related but it might also be associated with Mom or her diet, waketime activities, or Baby’s sleep environment.  Isolating the cause of your baby’s sleep disturbance is the first step toward fixing the problem.  With that in mind, we begin a 4-part series on sleep challenges.

Here are some potential baby-related contributors to Baby waking early:

  1. Baby is hungry because:
    1. He did not take a full feeding at his previous feeding
    2. He needs more milk calories in a 24-hour period – Whether breast or formula feeding, a baby’s growth necessitates more calories. While this does not always signal the start of solids, it may signal a need for more feedings (if breastfeeding) or more ounces (if offering formula).  Hunger can disrupt established nap and nighttime sleep routines.  Check with your baby’s pediatrician for literature relating to the number of ounces a baby needs at each week or month of life.
    3. He is starting a growth spurt – Growth spurts will disrupt Baby’s naptimes for the length of the spurt, which may be one to four days. When a growth spurt takes place, feed as often as your baby needs but try to maintain the feed-wake-sleep cycles as best you can.  The day after the growth spurt ends, your baby will take longer-than-normal naps for a few days.  That is because growth spurts are as exhausting for Baby as for Mom.
    4. He is ready to start solid foods – For the baby who has a well-established nighttime sleep pattern, any abnormal waking at night between five and six months of age or waking early during naps might also signal that more nutrition is required during the day. Babies are highly individual when it comes to showing a readiness for solid foods.  One baby might show signs at four months, while another shows no signs of readiness until six months.  As a general rule, babies usually start between four and six months of age.  Your baby’s pediatrician or family practitioner will direct you based on your child’s unique nutritional needs and readiness cues.
  2. Baby is uncomfortable because:
    1. He is getting sick, has a slight fever, is teething, starting an ear infection, etc.
    2. He has an insect bite or a hair twisted around a toe (tourniquet syndrome) – If you have not already, get into the habit of checking your baby all over once a day, including fingers and toes. Certainly look for the bug bites, which will often show up as a red skin bump.  There is also a condition called “toe-tourniquet” syndrome.  A single strand of hair, usually Mom’s, or a fiber from a carpet or blanket where the baby was playing, somehow gets wrapped around a toe or finger.  Although hardly noticeable, it eventually begins to tighten and cut off circulation to the appendage, causing swelling, inflammation, and pain.  The problem is often missed because the baby is wearing a sock or sleeper.
    3. He is too hot or too cold
    4. He has a diaper rash
  3. Baby’s tummy is troubling him because:
    1. He has a mild or delayed case of reflux – It is important to understand that reflux symptoms may not be present at birth and may not show up for several weeks. If your baby is troubled by reflux, you can count on it showing up throughout the day, not just at naptime.  If it is a mild case, you can do two things to counter its effects:  Keep the baby upright for a short time following each feeding, and elevate the head of his crib by two inches, allowing gravity to prevent stomach acids from moving back into the baby’s esophagus while he is sleeping.  For more severe cases of reflux, medication will probably be necessary.
    2. He is having an allergic reaction to a new food – Tummy discomfort, diarrhea, even rashes are common symptoms of food allergies and can also affect naps and nighttime sleep. Vomiting, while rare, is a more serious indicator that baby is having a reaction. The bottom line?  Never introduce multiple foods at the same time so you will not have to guess which food caused the reaction, should one occur.
    3. He is struggling with a bowel movement.
    4. He needs a burp.
  4. Baby woke up because:
    1. He startled himself (startle reflex).
    2. He rolled over and does not know how to roll back.
    3. He lost his pacifier and cannot resettle without it.
  5. Baby is starting a sleep/nap transition because:
    1. He is extending his nighttime sleep, affecting daytime naps – When a baby begins to extend his sleep at night, such as going from 10 to 12 hours, this naturally brings about a reduction in time the baby sleeps during the day. This reduction usually shows up at naptime.  Baby is not adding or subtracting hours of sleep; he is rearranging when his sleep occurs.
    2. His body does not require as much sleep in a 24-hour period, thus impacting naps – While sleep is very important to a baby’s development and overall behavioral performance, there are limits to the amount of sleep a baby needs at each stage of growth. Eventually, he will begin to subtract hours of sleep.  Normally, babies do not subtract hours from nighttime sleep but from daytime sleep.  Correspondingly, this means waketimes are extending and the number of naps decrease during the day.

 

Excerpt taken from On Becoming Babywise by pediatrician Robert Bucknam, M.D. and Gary Ezzo, M.A.  (2017 6th Edition).

13 Nov 2017

Give Thanks!

by | posted in: Moral Training | 0

 

November is a month when we talk a lot about being thankful.  So what are some practical ideas for teaching your child to have a grateful heart?  Consider the following:

  • Pray before you eat: Recognizing that the food we receive is a gift from God and thanking Him for it encourages thankfulness. Begin as soon as  your children are able to sit in a highchair.  Hold their hands and bow your head and say a short prayer.  You’ll be surprised at how quickly even babies will learn that we should pray before we eat.
  • Say please and thank you: Even before they can speak words, children can be taught to sign please and thank you. Saying thank you helps to generate a gracious attitude toward others.  Saying thank you reminds us how much we have been given.
  • Write thank you notes: When our children were babies and toddlers, I wrote thank you notes for our girls at birthdays and Christmas. When they were preschoolers, I encouraged them to tell me what they wanted to say in their notes and then I wrote it for them.  Once they were able to write, I would write out what they wanted to say and have them copy it on a thank you note which I had already drawn lines on.  We further encouraged the idea of being grateful for the gifts they received by having the rule in our house that you can’t use/play with a gift until you’ve thanked the giver.  This still holds true in our house today and is a rule that my husband and I follow as well.
  • Make a list: Encourage your children to make a list of all the things they appreciate about: their father, their mother, their grandparents, their pastor, their teacher, etc. Then have them write a note to that person, thanking them.
  • Thank God: My husband and I pray together before we go to sleep. Many years ago we were challenged by a message that Gary Ezzo preached called “Were there not Ten?” which was about the healing that Jesus did to the 10 lepers but only one came back to thank Him.  We resolved that we would spend our nighttime prayer time thanking God for what He had done that day and the things we were grateful for rather than asking Him for more.  This has been a great exercise for us as a couple to increase our grateful spirit and would be a great habit for children to have also.
  • Practice thankfulness daily: Go around at the dinner table each night and have each family member say one thing they are thankful for that day.
  • Do chores: Have your children do chores.  What does that have to do with teaching gratitude you might ask?  Some of you have had the opportunity to make a meal for someone else in need.  And some of you have had the blessing of having a meal made for you when you needed it.  How did you feel about that meal?  Grateful?  Why?  Because you know how much work goes into preparing a meal for someone else so when it is done for you, you are appreciative.  By having our children do chores, we are helping them see how much effort it takes to get things done.  When someone extends a courtesy to them by helping them with a chore, they are much more likely to be grateful than if they had never had to do that work themselves.
  • Make a thankful tree: For many years, on the first day of November, we would draw a tree on a big piece of paper and hang it on our door. Each day in November, each member of the family would write down something on a construction paper leaf which he/she was thankful for and we would hang the leaves on the tree.  As the month wore on, our tree was filled with God’s many blessings on our family.  Because there were 6 of us writing down something each day, it became more challenging as the days progressed to think of something new to be thankful for.
  • Read your Bible: Read biblical accounts which show the blessings of gratitude and contentment and the cursings of complaining and discontent. For example, have your children read through the history of the Israelites journey from Egypt to Canaan.  Have them list the times that the Hebrew children murmured and complained and what the result of that was. Or point out the many places in the life of Jesus when it would have been easy for Him to complain.  You will want to note how He responded instead and help your children see how they can learn to be more like Jesus.  Or study Hebrews 11 as a family.  Note how each person listed demonstrated contentment and gratitude.
  • Make another list: Have your children write down all the things they desire but do not have. Have them bring the list to you and ask them to mark anything on the list that God would not be able to give them if He thought it was best for them.  This is a good reminder of God’s sovereignty.
  • Look for thankfulness: Notice when you see someone demonstrating gratitude and point that out to your children. Discuss whether it is easy or difficult to be grateful in those circumstances.  Ask how they might remember to be grateful when they are faced with a similar situation.
  • Serve: As your children get older, consider helping out at the city mission or at your church’s food pantry or volunteer to help out someone who is sick or elderly. It’s helpful for our kids to see that not everyone in this world has all the things that they have.  This will again encourage a grateful heart.

 

Good character is not formed in a week or a month.  It is created little by little, day by day.  Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character. (Heraclitus of Ephesus). Take time today to encourage a grateful heart in your children.  You’ll be thankful you did!

 

 

Luona Nightingale is an experienced Contact Mom for Christian Family Heritage. She loves to help other moms by answering their questions and helping them implement the principles from Babywise and other Growing Families curricula.  She and her husband Luke reside in upstate New York and are celebrating their silver anniversary this year.  They are the parents of four adult daughters.

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