9 Jan 2019

I’m that Mom!

by | posted in: Mentoring | 0

 

 

It happens to all of us.  Whether we like it or not, whether we’re anticipating it or dreading it, it happens: we get older.  When it happens, there can be excitement and reminiscence mixed with tinges of sadness, and anticipation about the adventure ahead.  Some celebrate getting older, while others struggle … fighting heavy tears welling up in their eyes as they contemplate, unsure of what it will mean for them.

 

As much as I don’t always care to admit it, I am… uh, um…  a ‘seasoned’ mom.  While I have cherished being ‘Mom’, adding particular preceding adjectives doesn’t seem all that flattering.  Being tagged as ‘experienced’, ‘veteran’, ‘older’ and ‘mature’ (not quite yet ‘senior’, though I’ve begun to get ads), I have to admit, even to myself, that I’m that mom.

 

As I’ve pondered this new position, it’s not all bad because, in reality, every woman is an older woman to someone.  Being older means extended life experiences have led to added knowledge, including extra observations that have brought increased wisdom.  Older does not mean antiquated and out of commission.  In fact, the opposite is true… older means more on mission and commission than ever before.  You are at the point in life where you can commit the time to really pour into younger moms who are in the thick of training, teaching, rearing, and raising up their littles, mids, and bigs.

 

Many times it takes an outside person to help young parents reason through the whys and hows of parenting and to help moms keep their eyes on the goal.   When your mind is jam-packed with the day-to-days, it can get muddled and clouded.  Having an older, trusted women who has traveled the road before you can bring reason, as well as steady and calm to the chaos going on around you … even in your mind.  Women who started as my mentors have become life-long friends, even dear friends – and I wouldn’t trade those friendships for all the tea in China!

 

How do you find such women?  It’s not as hard as you might think.

 

Look up – Ask the Lord to show you someone who is ahead of you in the parenting journey.  Look up to your heavenly Father and ask Him to bring across your path a qualified person whose personality will mesh with yours;  someone you respect and look up to who will be a good role model and will be familiar with the Truth of God.

 

Look Ahead – Observe outcomes in other families that you also desire in your own.  Find a mom you respect because you see the result of her parenting efforts in the lives of her children.  Look ahead to someone whose children are at least 5 years (preferably 10 years or more) older than your children.  Moms with children close in age to yours may be doing a good job that you wish to emulate, but the reality is they are also in the thick of mothering and the ‘product’ hasn’t yet turned out.   You’re not looking for someone perfect, just a mom you can connect with who has produced children similar to the way you’d like your children to turn out.

 

Be Direct – Ask to be mentored. Don’t be afraid to be assertive.  One of the most sincere compliments you can give to another mom is to say, “I would love to spend time with you to learn from you; to understand why and how you do what you do. Please teach me what you did with your children.”  What a huge heart lift!   Your words of affirmation acknowledge that you recognize the many years of hard work put into child-rearing and will bring joy to a mom of any age.

 

Be Committed – Start with a short-term commitment with the option to renew.  Having a set time will benefit both you and your mentor.  Be faithful to whatever arrangement you make in fairness to your mentor’s time as well as whoever is caring for your children while you are being mentored. Take the counsel and wisdom provided.  Discuss it with your husband and apply it in your life, in your marriage, and with your children.

 

Young moms need older moms, so look up and look ahead while also looking behind and beside you. No matter where you are in your mothering journey, you too, are that mom because there are always other younger women coming behind you.

 

Others are watching what you do–how you prioritize your relationship with your husband and handle your children.  Open your heart to encourage a younger woman.  Redeem the time and make the most of every opportunity for God to show you His Truth for real life; connect with a mom who will encourage you on your parenting path.

 

 

Karen Kurtz is a mom of 4 Babywise/Prep for Parenting babies.  All of them slept through the night as prescribed in the Ezzo’s parenting books.  As a Contact Mom, Karen enjoys helping other parents train their babies and children.  Karen and her husband Don, make their home in NE Ohio and all four babies are now young adults.

 

 

2 Jan 2019

Memorials to God’s Faithfulness & Setting New Year’s Goals

by | posted in: Family Identity | 0

Our children were toddlers and preschoolers when we first heard the idea of building a family record of God’s faithfulness with tangible reminders of stories from our lives.  This idea came from the Growing Kids God’s Way segment, Memorials, and is based on the Israelite account found in Joshua 4.  The Lord instructs Joshua to take 12 stones from the Jordan River to set up as a memorial to God’s faithfulness and provision.  We were challenged to collect memorials of our own so that we would remember to tell the stories of God’s faithfulness in our family. Now 20 years later, we have a beautiful box of items that remind us of special events and people in our lives. These include something from our first date, a photo of a re-enactment of a special incident, receipts of unexpected provision, and reminders of both times of joy and sorrow.  God’s faithfulness is woven through all of these and is part of the faith legacy we pass on to our children as we talk about those memories.

Also in our Memorials Box is a simple spiral-bound journal which records about 15 years of New Year’s Day conversations where we would sit down as a family and share our favorite memories from the previous year and then set some goals for the year ahead. We started this when our oldest child was 5 and our youngest was not yet born. We continued the practice through our kids’ teen years, missing only a couple of years along the way.

On each page, the left side was filled with memories from the past year. We used the following prompts to spark memories in each child:

  • What is a favorite memory from our family camping (or road) trip last year?
  • What did you enjoy about your birthday celebration?
  • Tell us about something you worked hard on and were proud of this year.
  • What do you like about the new house/community we have moved into?
  • What is great about our family?

After noting their answers, we would look at the previous year’s goals, encouraging them in the steps taken toward those goals and praising their achievements. Then we would fill the right side of the page with goals for the next year. Starting with Dad, we all shared something new we would like to try or learn in the new year, and a character quality or habit we would like to work on. We would try not to be too pointed about this but would encourage the kids to think about how they could grow in love, grace, and wisdom. As parents, our own vulnerability about this set the tone.

Some years we added family goals for the coming year: things we would like to do together or family time habits to rekindle. It was interesting to hear from the kids when some of those important things like family devotions or fun family nights had slipped. This also meant they were investing in building our family identity.

Looking back through the journal pages brings back many sweet memories and a few laughs too! The habit of jotting down our goals gave us a window into each of our children’s hearts and prompted many discussions.  It also helped us to encourage them more intentionally in the coming year.  I would challenge you to take some time to sit down with your family and share your stories of God’s faithfulness in your life.  You will be blessed as you recall what God has done for you.  Then, take a few minutes to jot down some goals for 2019.  Let this be a tool to help your family as you step into this new year!

 

 

Linda and Jeff Gage have 4 young adult children.  They have lived in New Zealand and Missouri and are now living in the heat and dust of Riverside, California.  Jeff is a Professor of Nursing. Linda is transitioning from homeschool teacher back to nursing, working with new mothers and babies. They have used GFI principles in their own family from the birth of their first child and have mentored many families over the years through teaching classes and providing Contact Mom support. They are now also using the principles to support young and at-risk parents.
18 Dec 2018

Finding Joy at Christmas

by | posted in: Holidays | 0

 

Joy to world, the Lord has come! We all love to sing this song at Christmas and what a joyous time of year it is. The theme in my home at Christmas is JOY! I like to challenge the people who come over to my home to guess how many “JOYs” I have around my house. It is so much fun to watch as they start outside and work their way in, counting all the “joy” words they can find. Do you find joy at Christmas? Joy is something that can be hard for people to grasp this time of year. I have a friend that lost her husband and she is having a hard time finding joy in the Christmas season. I also have a friend whose daughter just got married and she is discovering a lot of joy this year. Joy is part of the Fruit of the Spirit and has both a feeling and a satisfaction to it. We can “feel” joy when something makes us happy; we can also experience the “satisfaction” of joy deep inside even when things might not go as we planned. I encourage you to find joy this Christmas in the good and bad times. Seek it out when it is hard to find, hold on to it, and cherish it when you have it. The Bible tells us that “…the joy of the Lord is our strength” (Nehemiah 8:10). It also tells us to “Count it all joy when we face trials…” (James 1:2). Did you see that – the Bible even tells us to count our joys!!! So whether you are finding a lot of joy this Christmas season or having a hard time locating joy, keep searching. Count your joy – especially the joy of celebrating Jesus, not only at Christmas, but every day.  Someone has said that JOY really stands for:

Jesus first

Others second

Yourself last

If we keep this perspective we will be counting a lot of JOY!! Then others around us will be encouraged to find JOY this Christmas too.

 

Cynthia Schrock was born in Ohio but grew up on the mission field with her parents in Quito, Ecuador. She married her wonderful husband Eric in 1990. They have two beautiful children: Ashley is 24 and Matthew is 19. In 2016 Cynthia completed a 13 year long journey of homeschooling. Eric and Cynthia have been involved in marriage and parenting ministry for 22 years. Cynthia is a Contact Mom, helping moms with solutions in their daily parenting struggles.  She has also authored a book on celebrating others called The Ultimate Gift of a Birthday (available in the Christian Family Heritage bookstore).
12 Dec 2018

The Importance of Advent

by | posted in: Holidays | 0

 

A green wreath, 3 purple candles, 1 pink candle, and 1 white candle. Eternal life through Christ and an abundant life here and now, hope, faith, joy, peace, and the purity of Christ. These are the symbols and meanings of an Advent wreath. Some churches still celebrate Advent but a lot of our mainstream churches today do not. What is Advent? It actually began as a time of fasting and prayer leading up to the Epiphany, which celebrates the divine revelation of Jesus to the Magi. In 600 AD, Gregory the First declared it to start the 4th Sunday before Christmas. Why is it important to celebrate Advent today with our children? The word Advent means “the arrival of a notable person or event.” That alone should get us excited to share the tradition of Advent with our children in our homes. Christmas is such a joyous time of year with all the decorations, songs, parties, and presents that life can get a little hectic. Advent, teaching our children that the most notable person, Jesus Christ, arrived on this earth in the form of a baby is something to be celebrated, for it began the redemption process for all of mankind!

When my children were small and I was homeschooling them, we had a tradition every year that helped us keep our focus on Christ the whole Christmas season long. I went to the dollar store and bought all the items listed above to make our Advent wreath. Then, each day leading up to Christmas, we would read part of a story in the Advent Adventures series by Arnold Ytreeide.  There are four books in the series, which starts with Jotham’s Journey.  This tradition helped me as a mom focus on the true meaning of the Christmas season.  I love Christmas and all the hustle and bustle associated with it. Taking time daily to light the candles and reading a story focused on Christ helped me to get the right perspective on this season. Even if you don’t find time to read a story to your children, perhaps playing an audio version of the Christmas story or watching a nativity movie after lighting the candles will refocus you and your household on the true reason for the season.

I hope this helps you see the importance of Advent in your homes. Advent is all about getting our hearts and minds focused on our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ this Christmas season.

 

Cynthia Schrock was born in Ohio but grew up on the mission field with her parents in Quito, Ecuador. She married her wonderful husband Eric in 1990. They have two beautiful children: Ashley is 24 and Matthew is 19. In 2016 Cynthia completed a 13 year long journey of homeschooling. Eric and Cynthia have been involved in marriage and parenting ministry for 22 years. Cynthia is a Contact Mom, helping moms with solutions in their daily parenting struggles.  She has also authored a book on celebrating others called The Ultimate Gift of a Birthday (available in the Christian Family Heritage bookstore).
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