3 Feb 2019

Winning over Whining!

by | posted in: Language, Toddlers & Preschoolers, Training | 1

 

One of the best teachings my hubby and I ever learned from GrowingFamilies.Life involved how to conquer whining (okay, so we probably didn’t completely conquer it, but did have the tools to minimize its presence in our home).  Children begin whining when they are about eight to twelve months old due to their limited language skills.  They know what they want to communicate, but are unable to do so.  While whining is developmentally normal, it can lead to bad habits as the child grows.  We were so thankful to learn that we could teach our children to communicate through sign language.

Signing offers babies and toddlers a way to express themselves.  When a child whines for a drink of water, a snack, or a hug and then receives the desired result, he learns that whiners win.  As parents we can be intentional to win over whining.   In Preparation for the Toddler Years, Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo write, “To prevent whining and to facilitate your child’s verbal skills, start around eight months of age to teach your infant how to communicate through sign language.  It is never too early to emphasize please and thank you.  Remember, your child’s verbal comprehension precedes his verbal vocabulary.  You can effectively teach the following phrases: please, thank you, stop, more food, and all done.”

I remember teaching our firstborn how to sign ‘please’ when he wanted food.  As I recall, his grandparents weren’t too sure about this approach.  I think we might have been perceived as idealistic first-time parents, especially since we also worked with him to keep his hands under the high chair tray and out of his food. But sure enough, when Grammy and Grandpa saw their little grandson signing ‘please’ and ‘more’ from his high chair, they were smitten.  Now they thought teaching babies to sign was amazing!

Sign language was part of our babies’ lives thanks to GrowingFamilies.Life.  We continued to use sign language as they become toddlers, even though their verbal skills were growing.  ‘Sit’ was a favorite sign during those years. Gary Ezzo adds that, “Once the child is verbal, then you can add to your parenting repertoire the catch phrase: ‘Use your words.’”  That simple phrase speaks life into the toddler and points him toward the desired behavior.  Even into the elementary years, I would sign a discreet ‘thank you’ as a quiet reminder for them to verbalize appreciation.  Or, I would sign ‘stop’ to put a quick end to an undesirable behavior.  Using signs with a child of this age eliminates the need for words which could potentially lead to a verbal battle.

Children whine when they don’t have an alternative.  Our job as parents is to teach them the option of sign language.  That’s winning over whining!

 

 

Bethany Mounts and her husband, Brian live in the Charleston, SC area with their three sons. They lead classes together and Bethany serves on the board for Christian Family Heritage in addition to being a Contact Mom.

 

26 Jan 2019

Structure/Routine: How Much is Too Much?

by | posted in: Flexibility, Routine, Structure | 0

 

Some moms who read this blog might just be trying to get through their days. They are even asking themselves, “What is structure? And where do I start?” Structure is not something that is one-size-fits-all.

I have always appreciated how the Ezzos, in Growing Kids God’s Way, encouraged each family to foster their own family identity. Part of your family identity can even include how you incorporate structure and routine into your day.  Heed the wise counsel regarding the importance of structure and routine but allow your family structure and routine to become your own.

I love Disney’s Winnie the Pooh. It is definitely a classic and I often draw illustrations from it when I speak. Here are some fun ways to identity your unique family structure. Maybe your family is a:

* Rabbit: You must stick to the schedule! Every minute counts! You stick with your routine and very rarely, if ever, veer off the track. Others might be exhausted by the routine you keep but your family thrives in this ‘structured to the minute’ routine.

* Tigger: You love bouncing from one thing to the next. You are very flexible and enjoy the spontaneous things in life. You might tend to run a little late (remember to respect others in the process with a phone call). Your family thrives in the flexible.

* Piglet: You are hesitant in scheduling too much. You love the simple and very limited schedule. This structure helps you enjoy and not get too anxious about things. If you get too busy you tend to become anxious and drop the ball on some things. This is fine – be ok with letting go of things for the well-being of your family. Your family thrives in the simple, minimal structure and routine.

* Winnie the Pooh: You love to think and talk over your structure and routine as a family. You also like flexibility but thoughtful flexibility. Your structure and routine revolves around finding out what each person is doing and going to each family member’s event. Your family thrives in the thoughtful and communicative structure and routine.

Structure/Routine, so how much is too much? You decide. Enjoy structure and routine as a family and make it fun and not stressful. Choose a family Winnie the Pooh character identity for your structure and routine, so when life gets hard you can break the tension with a little Pooh Bear humor.

 

Cynthia Schrock was born in Ohio but grew up on the mission field with her parents in Quito, Ecuador. She married her wonderful husband Eric in 1990. They have two beautiful children: Ashley is 24 and Matthew is 19. In 2016 Cynthia completed a 13 year long journey of homeschooling. Eric and Cynthia have been involved in marriage and parenting ministry for 22 years. Cynthia is a Contact Mom, helping moms with solutions in their daily parenting struggles.  She has also authored a book on celebrating others called The Ultimate Gift of a Birthday.
25 Jan 2019

A Time For Everything!

by | posted in: Community, Middle Years | 0

When my grandma passed away last year, we read a favorite Bible passage of hers from Ecclesiastes 3, which begins, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”  Parenting is like a magnifying glass of that truth.  From babyhood to adulthood, our children are constantly changing: physically, emotionally, and even spiritually.  And every one of those seasons has a purpose in a child’s life.  In the beginning they are completely dependent, needing us for food, clothing, bathing, consistent naps, etc.; the list is almost endless.  But with each new stage, they are slowly and steadily becoming less dependent on Mom and Dad and more and more independent.  As parents, we need to be intentional as we guide our children through each season so that they will grow steadily toward a life that honors God.

We’re finding out what the change in season looks like for our middle years daughter.  We have weathered the training years and are now moving into the next phase, where we are guiding her to make her own decisions based on the moral warehouse we’ve been filling in her heart the last ten years.  And, let me tell you, the training years now look like a cake-walk!  Just when we had a handle on that, the game took a major shift and we’re on our knees like never before, asking the Lord to guide us and give us wisdom as we parent this new age.  We’re facing a lot of new challenges.  But the best part is, we’re not surprised or shocked by what we’re seeing as she grows, changes, and transforms from a little girl into a young lady.  God has been EVER so faithful to us over these last years to provide the principles, the tools, and the community that is guiding us biblically through every stage of parenting, from pregnancy to adulthood.

 

  • The Principles – The Middle Years study that GFI created many years ago was our starting point, but more recently we were able to watch the updated version that teaches about all the new cultural pitfalls that we’re now facing, from the digital age to the LGBTQ movement. It also gave us a good idea of what behaviors and attitudes are common for kids in the 8-12-year-old range, which is good because I think they would have really thrown us for a loop if we hadn’t had an awareness of what to expect.

 

  • The Tools – The “funnel” is a tool we learned about when our kids were toddlers, but it has just grown in importance as our kids get older. Parents either allow too many freedoms (which creates chaos) or none at all (which creates exasperation).  We have learned that when the funnel is used properly, it keeps our daughters in developmental harmony.  Then, we as parents can give and take freedoms and responsibilities with discernment and confidence.

 

  • The Community – When things started to shift for our oldest daughter, we began asking questions of other seasoned GFI parents who had already weathered these changes. We have a host of couples available to answer the myriad of questions we have.  Beyond that, we have a local community of support: friends who are in the trenches with us, supporting us with prayer and encouraging words.  Most of all, our community points us back to Scripture and to Christ to be our strength in parenting and all of life.

 

We’re far from finished, but when we entered this new stage, we didn’t have to worry because we were already prepared to face it.  Growing Families International has been the life-line that God provided to help us with every season of parenting.

 

Julie Bame is wife to Rich, mom to three beautiful girls, a Contact Mom for Christian Family Heritage, and Worship Coordinator at North Clinton Church.  Rich and Julie are passionate to see the Kingdom come in all of life, but especially so in marriages and families.  They count it a great privilege to walk the journey of parenting with anyone who will join them.
18 Jan 2019

Make it Easy on Yourself!

by | posted in: Routine, Schedule | 0

 

Happy New Year! It’s that season where we make plans, dream dreams, and promise, “This year will be different!” How do you want to make this year great? Have a daily quiet time? Eat better? Exercise consistently? Stay within your budget? Weekly date night? More family time? Less tech time? These are always on my list!

My favorite way to start a new year is to sit down and make a schedule. Yep! I am a list-making-cross-it-off kind of girl. When our daughters were little, a schedule helped all of us know what came next. That made my life so much easier! It gave the girls a sense of security (when I stuck to the schedule, that is!) that Mama and Daddy had a plan. It minimized the “what’s next?” queries. There were definitely days when the schedule went out the window, but on the days we used our schedule, it made our home life much more peaceful.

You may not think you are a schedule type of person. That’s okay – just consider trying one to see how much more you can get done and how much less chaotic life can be! When I am without a schedule, life gets a bit more chaotic than I am comfortable with and I don’t accomplish as much! Here’s how I start.

  • Follow this link: https://growingfamilies.life/class-handouts/  and download the Family Activity Planner and Children’s Activity Planner under “Toddlerhood Transitions”.  Fill these out for your husband, yourself, and your children. What do you absolutely need to get done every day? Think of spiritual, physical, and family activities. Like me, you may like to start your day with a spiritual foundation including time in God’s Word, prayer, and maybe a short devotional reading. There were seasons where five minutes of prayer for my husband and a few minutes for the rest of us plus a brief reading was all my schedule allowed. Meal planning came next, including time for prep time and cleanup! Since we homeschooled, that was on the list, too. What events occur weekly? Church services? Date night? Parenting class? Grocery shopping? Housecleaning? Bill paying? And then there’s the monthly list.  You get the idea!

 

  • Download the Daily Activity Planner at the same link. What has to be done and when? This worksheet keeps everyone in sync! It also helps me visualize how my day is laid out.  Do I need more margin between activities?  Is roomtime scheduled while we’re in the car? ?

 

  • Next, if you are feeling adventuresome and ready for more, download the Weekly Activity Planner.  This is where those consistent items are listed: naps, meals, laundry,   It’s a good place to see if there are too many evenings out planned.

 

  • If there is an infant at home, whether using Prep for Parenting or Babywise, there are downloadable schedules available at: https://pin.it/wedcku77zld7o3

 

The joy of using these worksheets is that you can make a plan, save it, try it for a couple of weeks, and then come back to tweak it later without having to start from scratch! Life is never etched in stone, but schedules help give your days structure and set routines in place.

 

Additional video resources can be found at https://growingfamilies.life/toddlerhood-transiton-blog/?rq=Toddlerhood%20 video #17 9TTV4-025 or https://growingfamilies.life/parenting-from-the-tree-of-lifeblog/?offset=1530016751972 video #102 LSV14-055.

Mp3s or CDs on “Structure and Routine” are available at https://christianfamilyheritage.org/product/structure-and-routine/

 

Believe me, taking the time to come up with a schedule will save you time in the long run. The old adage about “a penny saved is a penny earned” applies to time, too. Try using a schedule to make sure your time is invested in what counts and what brings peace and order to your family life. Someone in your home needs to know, “What’s next?” and it should be you!  ?

 

Glen and Jerrine Hicks have been married 32 years and live near Sedalia, CO.  They have two adult daughters and one son-in-love.  Jerrine’s idea of a perfect day would include a pot of PG Tips tea, some dark chocolate, a Jane Austen movie, and time reading Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Jerry Bridges, Emilie Barnes or L.M. Montgomery.  She loves couchtime with her Glen.  She is an introvert.  😉  The Hickses have been involved with Growing Families since 1996.

 

 

 

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