TO BE SUBJECT TO THEIR HUSBANDS
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Titus 2:3-4
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:21-24
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Most Commonly Asked Questions of Contact Moms
Q: My husband and I are at in impasse regarding an issue we are having with our children. What can a wife do when she believes she is right and her husband just won’t back down?
A: It appears that we are talking about an ‘amoral’ issue, not one that would put anyone in harm’s way, emotionally, spiritually, or physically. In other words, we are not referring to someone pursuing an issue of sin, but a difference of opinion. In remembering a similar disagreement in our household, my husband and I found that after much prayer and soul searching, that at the root of our disagreement was a belief on his part that the issue was actually ‘sin’ based on how he had been raised. Thankfully we were able to have some very good discussion and mutually came to the conclusion that there were some things that needed to be held up to the light of God’s word to determine if they were elements of inherited righteousness (a value from his family) or was it imputed righteousness (a value from the Word of God). But which ever it was, my having a heart attitude of being willing to yield to my husband’s decision as an act of loving submission to God would be far greater than “proving I was right”. As anyone who has been married for at least a couple of years has discovered, marriage, and later child rearing, become crucibles for our transformation. The Psalmist speaks of being refined like silver in the fire to remove all impurities. {Psalm 66:10; Job 23:10; Proverbs 17:3} As stated above there are sometimes secret elements in our heart that we think we know, we think we are right and we take our stand, but to what end? Dissention in the home, disharmony between husband and wife and unending disputes; is my being right worth it? I remember reading a story about a couple that spent their honeymoon taking a bike trip. At one point in time the wife realized they had taken a wrong turn, but not so her husband as he continued to ‘ride on’. Now it’s one thing to make a 5-mile mistake in the car, the correction is a matter of moments, but when you are on a bike, time and correction become a critical issue. Eventually he did realize his error and made the necessary course correction. The lesson learned by this new bride (who was relating the story) was that she realized her husband may be absolutely wrong, but her role was to be his completer along the way, wherever their destination took them. While she certainly could share her thoughts about the ‘way’, her calling was to follow him, not correct him. She ultimately would answer to God for how she fulfilled her role, not how she informed or corrected her husband in his role along the way.
Now regarding the ‘children part’ of this question. The book of Genesis states that as women, we will have pain in child bearing, which is really just an example of the type of pain we as women often endure. It is not simply the physical pain of birthing children, but the emotional pain in our hearts when we have conflicts with them and over them. Sometimes the “pain” is submitting when we want to stand up and shout out our disagreement with their Dad’s decision. If there is a true injustice or wrong being done toward a child, one that violates a biblical injunction, then appropriate intervention may be needed. But generally, God is doing a bigger work – a work in our heart – and it is important that we ask Him how we are to respond. As our husband’s ‘completer’ and the bearer of his honor, we need to take our concerns to God and while we are waiting on His answer; submit.
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Definition of Subject: Greek word “hipeiko [hoop-i-ko] to yield; to surrender, submit self, placed or situated under; be subject, be subdued, submit yourself to “out of a loving subordination, to prevent disorder or confusion” {Matthew-Henry Commentary}
Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. Psalm 143:10
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THOUGHTS FROM THE BOARD
“Buy this cream and you will look younger!! This product will make your hair shiny and smooth. This mascara will make your eyes pop!” Every day we are bombarded with ads selling one thing: beauty. Thankfully, I actually have found the secret to being a beautiful woman! And it really isn’t a ‘secret’; God in His goodness provided the answer in His Word: For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands. (1 Peter 3:5) Did you catch that? We are beautiful when we have a heart that is willing to yield and submit out of devotion to our husbands. So, instead of spending an hour in front of the mirror, I can be beautiful by saying “Yes, dear”, “Sure!” “I’d be glad to!” We can set aside our agendas and trust God’s plan for our marriages and families by agreeing with Him that it is our husbands’ role to make the final decisions in our homes. As a result peace and joy will fill our homes when we choose to follow our husband’s lead in the way that God is directing and showing him. Then, I will be truly beautiful!! While this all may sound ‘simple’ it isn’t easy, as it is evident how desperately we want to do it “our way” by the sheer number of products available to take care of our outside when Scripture says it is a pure heart and contentment that will produce beauty from within which is of inestimable value. It’s a choice we make each day with the ultimate purpose that God will be glorified and His Word honored.
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Wisdom vs. Foolishness Anne Marie Ezzo and Sharon Carter discuss aspects of a wise woman vs. a foolish woman. Wisdom from the world is completely different from the wisdom of God. How can women be characterized by God’s wisdom? Sharon Carter emphasizes the affect a woman’s behavior has on her family. She goes on to share that a godly woman should be characterized by markedly different behavior than that of a non-believer. This message covers numerous Scripture passages that are direct guidelines from God to women. Order the CD here.
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